I’ve long held the belief that time is neither consistent nor linear. All I’ve needed for evidence was  knowing that as a kid, summer vacations were very short and the day before Christmas was very long.

But since I’m a grown up now (hee hee) I thought I should get a little more evidence. I could probably do a bunch of research about Quantum Physics, the impact of gravity on the perception of time, yada yada yawn. I don’t think that would be the responsible approach. I really should gather empirical evidence on my own. So I decided to conduct an experiment.

Background: I hate peeling hard boiled eggs. I don’t know why, but it’s an activity I hate, it takes forever and it bugs my fingers. That’s why I always ask Shirley to bring hard boiled eggs to my Fourth of July party. And I love tea. Usually, waiting for the kettle to boil seems to only take an instant. I have an electric kettle – to make proper British tea, of course – so the duration is consistent.

So here’s the experiment. Which will take longer – peeling 8 eggs or boiling the kettle. Strict criteria: the eggs must be fully peeled & rinsed, shells in compost bucket and pieces out of the sink. The kettle must be filled to the top line and must come to a full rolling boil and click off on it’s own. No cheating.

Here’s the result: I finished peeling the eggs one full minute before the kettle boiled.

My findings: It took way longer for the kettle to boil this time than it ever has before. Something is wrong with it. I need a new kettle.