There is nothing like STRONG

Time for a little confession. It’s not an accident that this post follows the one about guilt being a poison, because I think guilt is the toxin that started this phase of the story, but it isn’t the point of this particular chapter, so we’ll just let it sit in the corner by itself…guilt, you just sit there and think about what you did. Leave us alone. We’re busy.

About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with melanoma, and an ugly one had to be removed from my leg right away.

I’m an amazing healer. I have a history of healing in record time and amazing all the doctors and nurses and physios. I’m pretty much used to it.

So I had the surgery a year ago June. All good, all clear, no more cancer. But I didn’t heal well. The site opened up as soon as the stitches were out. It got infected. Really infected and wasn’t responsive to antibiotics.  I had an open wound for 6 months with weekly wound care appointments. The body doesn’t like open wounds, by the way. It wants to be whole.

During that time, I couldn’t really be more active than gentle walking, maybe a little stationery biking. I had to be pretty sedentary. Not my way at all.

Around November, I was remarking to my wound care nurse that this was so unlike me, to not be healing faster. She said, “Well, that’s just because you’re getting older and your body starts deteriorating.” I was stunned. I had to tell her that I didn’t believe that. I don’t believe that there’s any evidence that says aging HAS TO BE a process of declining health. When I said it out loud, I realized that I needed to hear that. I finished up the rest of the healing pretty quickly.

The next part is what’s really awesome. I had been pretty sedentary for a while now. I didn’t like it. I gradually started increasing my activity. Then one day in March I just decided it was time. I started playing around with exercise. I started with cardio. At first I had to modify things a lot, but I really did see rapid improvement in my flexibility and endurance. By June I was ready to go all in and start lifting and HIIT again. It’s August, and I’m lifting more than I ever have before. Ever.

There is nothing like STRONG. That’s the feeling I want all the time – for all my life, up to the very last second.

Strong isn’t just physical. It’s confident and brave and powerful and comfortable. It’s authentic and connected and loving. There’s no judgment in strong. Strong is accepting and open and vulnerable. Strong is a belief system. Strong is incredibly grounded, and yet fierce.

Yes, for me having a healthy and strong body is a big component of Strong, but it’s not the only piece.  I completely understand why communities claim strength after a traumatic event, like #SonomaStrong after the fires last year.

STRONG = Life Force.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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1 Comment

  1. RuthE. August 18, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    Thank you for this! You remind me to remind myself of the mantra I learned several years ago … I am whole, healthy, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. Let’s see; still true? Yup; I am.

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