Abra cadabra – ‘should’ be gone!
A little bit more on the should vs. could topic from a couple of weeks ago.
I mentioned that “should” doesn’t need to be in our self talk anywhere near the frequency it probably is… because “should” just leads us to beat ourselves up.
Look, if you think you should do something because you want the results, why not just admit it? Why not just say “I want to…?” It’s funny, but as soon as you say “I want this so I should do that” you just set yourself up not to want to do what you really want to do. Oh, that sounds confusing.
Here, try this quick exercise. Let’s pretend you want to have a clean, organized office. That’s what you want. Just go with me, okay?
So you say to yourself, “I should get in there and clean up and organize” – just that – how do you feel? Motivated enough to do it? Happy to do it? Eager to do it? Yeah, probably not. See, you don’t want to do it.
But if you say, “I want to get in and clean up so my office is clean and organized” – how does that feel? It’s different, right? You’re still sticking with what you want, and there’s a greater likelihood that you’ll actually do it.
The point is, we’ve gotten into a lot of habits, and one of them is telling ourselves what we should or shouldn’t do. But that just triggers our inner rebel who wants to scream “You’re not the boss of me!”
Oh wait, I am. So if you’re the boss, you have full discretion. You can say whatever you want, however you want to yourself.
So why not use words you like, words that really are motivating to you? Wouldn’t you really be more honest to yourself?
I want to….
I like to…
I’d love to…
I can’t wait to…
I can, I could, I will, and on and on.
Seriously, words matter. So choose the words you want! It seems too simple to be impactful – but it works. Almost like — magic!
And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!
What would you love to do, achieve, be? If you’d like a coach to help you, send me an email and we can set something up to talk firstname.lastname@example.org