There is no one way to be right now
This is new territory. What we are emotionally experiencing in this moment in time, this pandemic, is totally new for all of us. We don’t really know how to be. So I keep reminding myself that we are all grieving and we are all scared.
There is no one way to grieve. There is no one way to deal with fear. There is no single timeline you should follow. No one can tell someone else how to do it. Everyone does it differently.
Some of us are in denial. We are keeping very busy. We may be working long hours – at home or away. Or maybe we’re not going to “waste this time” and are creating a new online business, or learning a new language or starting some other large project.
Some of us are angry. We focus on people or situations that aren’t the way we want. We get mad at the people who are telling us to make good use of the time. We rant online about people who wear masks to the store (before we were told to wear masks everywhere). We get angry at the people who don’t comply. Or what we see on the news. We feed the anger with news and stories.
Some of us are playing bargaining games – with ourselves, with the universe, with God. It sure is interesting timing, that this is happening during spring, during Lent, during senior year, during some important season – heck, during baseball season. We wonder if there is something I can do, some trade I can make that will make it better?
Some of us are just sad. Depressed. Lost. We don’t want to do anything. Finding something to binge watch that will keep us distracted for a while is even a challenge. Laundry, dishes, cooking is overwhelming.
Some of us are focused on trying to help. We reach out to the people we care about. We look for ways to donate, things to make, things to do. We are doers by nature, and we keep looking for actions to take.
We are also avoiding and obsessing and binging and indulging and lonely and frustrated and distracted and worried and unsure. And afraid.
All of us are afraid at some level because we aren’t in control and we don’t know when this will be over and what it will look like when it is.
I am most of these things many times a day. I bet you are, too.
While there are correct ways to behave during this pandemic – and we all know those by now – THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO EXPERIENCE IT.
There is no list of proper emotional responses.
There is no calendar or timeline.
There is no reason to judge how people are experiencing grief and fear.
There’s no need to judge yourself or your neighbor or the lady in the store.
No matter how someone appears on the outside, on the inside they are also scared, confused and grieving.
We are all learning how to be. We all get to choose our own compass. I want to be patient and loving and faithful. But it’s a work in progress, that’s for sure!
Remember this: you are loved.
If these words helped you, please feel free to share them with someone you know who might need. That’s one kind thing that you can do. And if you have additional, positive ideas, please share them in the comments!
And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love and light, Maggie
p.s. The colors are changing. Winter is not coming, the onion is – The Rainbow Onion. If you’re interested in finding out more, be sure to sign up for my list. You’ll get early information AND this blog emailed to you every Thursday. Sign up here: http://eepurl.com/caaviv