Two weeks ago I talked about a better decision. Today I want to talk about some different ways to make a better decision.
When we’re stuck, how do we make a decision? Sometimes we just stay stuck, or keep doing research…which is actually a decision. Maybe we just aren’t brave enough to claim it. Or we’re so afraid of getting it wrong that we aren’t willing to risk deciding.
Other times, most of us go with the old ways: if we’re patient, we make a Pro/Con list and weigh them out, if we’re not patient, we fall victim to peer pressure or just make an impulsive decision.
I don’t love the pro & con list, because it’s really an exercise in black or white thinking. Pros are good, cons are bad. It can only be good or bad. Oh no, I might get this wrong! Same thing with either/or decisions: one is right, then the other is wrong.
So here are some different ways to make decisions that don’t get you into black or white thinking.
- Come up with more options. Avoid that whole narrowing it down thing. Who cares if they are 100% practical, just have more than two choices. Odds are you can come up with several.
- If you are really stuck the idea of evaluating your options, go beyond the pros & cons. Come up with different names to fool your brain, such as risks & rewards. Come up with multiple columns – go beyond the pro/con – add neutral impacts. Add short term impacts, long term costs, impacts to other people, generosity scale, etc. Come up with different criteria to evaluate besides good or bad.
- Follow your heart. What do you really want? Why? How will you feel? Can you get that same feeling another way?
- Assign colors to your options. Aha! Color Thinking! Now look at the colors you assigned. What do those colors represent to you? Are they the shadow side or the blessing side? What associations do you make? Ask some color thinking questions? Did you choose pink – what would love do? Red – what would make me feel safe and energized? Blue – what do I value, what’s my vision? Gold – what does my inner wisdom say? Green – what makes me feel free to grow? Yellow – what brings the most joy? Purple – what is transformative? And so on.
- What choice gives you peace? This is actually the very best, most fun and truest indicator that you are making a good decision for this point in time. The feeling of peace means that you are in alignment with your source energy, your best self and your values.
If you can’t make a decision, if you don’t feel that peace, it’s okay to wait a bit. It’s okay to be patient. Just don’t agonize over the fact that you haven’t made a decision. Don’t keep worrying that sore. Let it rest. You don’t know yet. Let that be peaceful!
Remember, though decisions are important, very few are absolutely, 100% final. They are steps on the journey. With each step, you open up opportunities to make new decisions.
In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!
Love and light,