One better decision can change everything

A better decision can change your life. Mine changed dramatically because of one such decision.

I’m going to tell you the story of this one decision. It’s sort of a secret I’ve been keeping for a while.

Thirty years ago I was a drug addict. It’s okay if I tell you this now because I’m pretty sure I’m never going to run for office. You can imagine what my life las a drug addict was like – a mess! I was miserable and tortured and I wanted it to stop. I tried quitting on my own, and I could white knuckle it through a couple of weeks but then I’d relapse.

One day someone who loved me laid down a very gentle question. “Honey, did you know that there is an easier way?”

I decided to pick it up. That was my powerful decision. I decided to pick up the easier way. I became willing to see another option. That was a miracle.

No, I didn’t magically transform over night into someone who had their life in order, didn’t owe any back taxes, knew what they wanted to be when they grew up or even where the next pay check was coming from.

I did transform into someone who was willing to listen. I went to AA (a better fit for me than NA). I worked the steps. I started from where I was. I worried about keeping my side of the street clean. I took care of what I could, one day at a time. I lived on the serenity prayer. I began to remember that I am good.

I still had to do the work, of course. I stuck with my decision. Ultimately, not doing drugs was much, much easier than living the life of an addict. And way better!

Along the way, I’ve had many opportunities to make a better decision. This week, I made another one. I’ve decided to be more open about the pain I’ve experienced in my life, and what I’ve learned from it. Up until now, I’ve sort of hoarded it, only sharing on “special” occasions. I didn’t lie, I just didn’t offer. That’s not good enough any more.

The point isn’t to be dramatic or get sympathy. It’s just time. I don’t feel like hoarding the wealth of my experiences any more. Maybe someone else can use them now.

I want to tie this back to Color Thinking. Did you know that there is a better way? or Are you willing to try something different? are very pink questions. Pink represents unconditional love – self and others – and acceptance. There’s no judgement in pink, which makes it easier for us to drop our defenses. We feel safe enough to pick up the question, look at it from multiple sides, and maybe take it to our heart.

Not all better decisions are this big and obvious. Little decisions add up, though, to create big transformations.

Yeah, sometimes we know that there’s a better decision to be made, but for some reason we just can’t seem to find it on our own. We don’t always need someone in our face showing us the consequences of our own decisions and actions.

Sometimes, we just need someone to gently set a pink question on the table and leave it there. Lovingly.

In the meantime, remember these things: You are loved. We are all loved. Let’s all be kind. And in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,


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  1. Katherine March 11, 2021 at 2:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing a piece of your life. When a person shows that they have struggles too, and we are able to be compassionate with others, it also makes it easier to be compassionate with ourselves. Let’s go pink, and revel in a little love for ourselves!

  2. Christopher March 14, 2021 at 6:17 am

    You, my friend, are not only an amazing writer with endless life-affirming ideas, but you are a brave, courageous one, too. Your revelation resonates deeply with me because I’ve recently come to acknowledge some of my own secrets and a distinct awareness that how I’ve been living with them is “not good enough any more.” And, if I can figure out a way that “someone else can use them now,” that would be give them even more and broader purpose. Thanks for your inspiring example. I will think pink!

  3. Alice K Ugarte November 12, 2022 at 9:42 am

    A beautiful article that I can relate to on so many levels!


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